Keep your "Moments of Truth" to yourself

(Updated: Friday, January 25, 2008 10:48 AM CST)

Leada Gore, Editor

In case you missed it, there's a new game show scheduled to premier soon that producers hope will be a big hit.

The premise of "The Moment of Truth" is pretty simple.

Contestants are asked very personal questions while hooked to a lie detector. Later, they are asked these personal questions in front of a studio audience that includes some of their family members and friends. The goal is to answer the questions truthfully, even if they involve you calling your brother-in-law Bob a real moron while you are sitting there looking at him in the front row. If you answer the questions truthfully, you win money.

I know, I know. This is a repulsive idea and I can't imagine why this is considered entertainment. I also can't imagine why anyone would volunteer to appear on this show, especially if you knew you had to spend the next holiday with brother-in-law Bob the moron.

It's obvious that the only way to win on such a show would be to lay it all on the line. That, and provide so much information that you just confuse them all.

Here's what I would do:

Question: "Have you ever stolen anything?"

Answer: "Yes. When I was five I stole a red button from Hancock Fabrics in Birmingham. It matched my red dress and I thought it was pretty. My mother found out and I had to take it back and apologize. Whole thing is pretty weird, considering my red dress wasn't missing a button. I wore that red dress in my school pictures that year. They turned out pretty good though it looked like I needed a haircut. I had some bad hair back then, sort of a Farrah Fawcett look coupled with some floppy wings on the side. It was the 1970s after all. Wait, what was the question again?"

By this point, hopefully everyone would have forgotten what I was supposed to be revealing.

Another example:

Question: "Do you like your brother-in-law?"

Answer: "My brother-in-law? Glenn? That one? Oh, wait, I only have one brother-in-law, so that must be him. You know, the Dutch translation of "brother-in-law" is zwager? Did you know you actually can have a brother-in-law three different ways? He can be your sister's husband, your husband's brother or some other way that I don't quite understand. Wait, what was the question again?"

My guess is if you answered enough questions this way, the lie detector itself would explode. If it didn't, I imagine the producers of the show would get so frustrated they would probably just pay you money to leave.

And that would be fine with me.

So, I hope those of you who watch "Moment of Truth" enjoy it.

For me, I think I will just go read a book.

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